let the poets cry them selves to sleep

Here I am in California. Two boyfriends later. With more experience then a lot of kids these days. But a lot less down here. I'm getting an internship in the new few weeks. Whoah.


Let's survive.

I have a boyfriend.
Last night was hella fun.
Me, Jess, Keenan, and Teal snuck
into 28 weeks later it was really good.

Then we went to the mall for a bit
and got starbucks and made people feel
uncomfortable by staring at them >:]

and then we walked home which took us
like 2 1/2 hours but we got candy and
went to the park and went swinging and
found some scary guy sitting there.
hahha but that Teal kid is hella funny.

But then I got sparking cider. And Jess got
gummy worms. But we had to wait for Keenan
to buy his skittle gum and Teal walked like
for 6 minutes before he noticed no one was
with him. Lolololololol. Then we started walking
and met up with him.

Then me and Jess started spinning on this
guys' lawn and we got dizzy. Then we tried
turning on some guys sprinkler which didn't work.

And Keenan kept trying to open the bottle but
it didn't work. Then Teal went a different route
and we stole some balloons from this apartment
complex and there was like 6 of them and they were
HUUUUGE. Then we walked past some guy who was parking
his car and we asked him for a bottle opener but he said
"no" even though he was a total beer drinker. I could tell.
And then we met up with Teal.

And by now its like 10:45 at night. And I notice
4 of my balloons have floated away!!! And it was
heartbreaking. And we still have the unopened bottle
and ran out of gummy worms. Then we finally arrive
at Jess's house and we open the bottle and me
and Keenan start just drinking it out of the bottle.

LMAO! But then Jess's parents came home and they had
to run through the back.

Then we went to bed. And woke up to the sound of my phone ringing.
And I had a grilled cheese for breakfast.

:) Pike Place with Carly tomorrow !

i've got life great.
my parents are rich.
they don't smack me around.

BOYS DO LIKE ME!
and some girls, aha.

i don't need gross immature things to entertain me.
even though they do sometimes.

the only things bad in my life are really
my bipolarness and getting sick all the time.
AND MY STALKER PARENTS.


man, i thought about killing myself earlier.

bipolarness sucks ass :[.
but i don't want to depend on pills.

I'll be in California in 5 days 10 hours. I can't wait one bit.
But lately I've been doing better in school and have a 107% in my art class.
Hahah isn't that amazing? I think so. But anyways. I want Fiji water and my iPhone.

I made a new playlist today and can't wait until April 1st for so many reasons.
One is I get $10 bucks for iTunes! Woot, woot. I am thinking Hope if she's on iTunes by then.

But I guess here's what my goals are right now:
-Get a hair cut. Not a trim! But yeah.
-Buy more Springy Summer clothes and prescription sunglasses.
-Have at least a B in all my classes.

I think I can do it!
But I don't want to go to school tomorrow so I'm staying up
late so I look sick tomorrow. Lol. I'm smart.

Anyways I can't wait until I'm in the Seatac airport boarding my plane.
I love flying on airplanes. I want to become a flight attendant actually.
Even though everyone is worried I'll get attacked by snakes or something lawlz.

I want sour dough toast right now.
And now I'm going to watch South Park
and "sleep" ;D.

its a touchy subject because well, i'm now talking about it and hurting feelings and such. but my mom found someone who would buy our house and we wouldn't have to put it on the market and blahblahblah. so yeah we would probably have to move in july -_- which is earlier than i want to move. but yeah i'm moving to grass valley or placerville i bet. and my mom says i can come up really whenever i want so that could mean up for a long weekend too if i needed ^_^. i love flying so this is no problem for me. she also said people could fly down and stay with us for a few days in the summer and such. and yeah.


so its official i'm moving.
but idk where to yet.




more updates on my life.
2/6/07
got a macbook ^_^
2/7/07
home sick. i feel like shit.
but people missed me at school.

fjsdlkjfa yeah.

one of those days you listen to love songs with the only instruments are a piano, tamborine, and the light pizzicato of a string instrument. one of those day all you want is strawberry popsicles and french bread. one of those days you want to watch beautiful movies with a tearful happy ending. one of those days you keep your blinds wide open and welcome the sunshine to your porcelain skin. one of those days you just want to swing in a hammock and watch the world twirl around you. its one of those days you just want to drink pink lemonade with a bendy straw and extra ice. one of those days you just want to wear something breezy and lay back and absorb the world around you because it might be your last chance.

i think i'm going to watch little miss sunshine soon.

Oh jeez I love STG fan for over a year now. Well here is some of my latest photographry... c:







(the moon one didn't work out to well :/)

my mind is busy
with thoughts racing
through my mind
ignoring the fact
that its late
in state of time
the questions not yet answered
are repeating in a fashion
that strikes my eyes wide open

will i have a good day tomorrow
is it a good idea for me to move
to california?
or stay with everyone here.
are you thinking about me?
is there a after life?

why is it a child always runs into
the street right as a car is in the street?
how come the one time you try to sneak out
your parents come to check on you at night?
the one time you lie, your parents know your lieing





i think so much i can not sleep.
this is a bunch of nonsense i know.

I used to be really againest smoking but for some reason I'm not longer. I think it was because my cousin threatened me that if I didn't raise my grades he would start smoking again. I thought this was probably the rudest thing in my whole life and me being the stubborn brat I am. Lost all care for people who were risking there life. I mean when you think about it, its a high point in America. Well, not the smoking in general but people doing something they enjoy(and legal) even if it risks there life. We're going to die anyways so you might as well get some pleasure from a cancer stick.

First of all, I am not a smoker even though about 85% of people think I am. And who knows maybe one day I'll have my first cigg. Just to let you know, I am aware of the risks of smoking and that's probably why I don't do it. I also have had asthma since third grade and had to go to the E.R three times in one week because of breathing malfunctions. I don't really want to risk my breathing again.

Second of all, I personally don't get why people make don't make a big of deal about obeseity as in smoking. These days a child is more likely to have a Big Mac and get hooked on its comfort food feelings of happiness than get hooked on nicotine. The anti-smoker campains are completing their goals of keeping kids from ciggarettes but once in awhile there are some kids who break the rules. But I personally feel that people should also be aware of the cheap fastfood crap people are feeding they're children. Would you want a healthy weight kid who was risking they're lungs and mouth or your child risking the life of their heart, arteries, breath. Both of them have the same amount of risks. And I've noticed that kids are being fed unhealthy diets at earlier and earlier ages. And the kids are getting hooked on Burger King and such but one day their kid metabolisms will run out and they'll be up to 180 on the scale at age 14. (Sorry this paragraph is kinda rambeling but meh whatever).

Finnaly, ciggarettes are a source of hundreds (possibly thousands, I'm not sure) of jobs. And release stress from people but do have the side effects in the end. Which also goes for obesity.

I just had to get this off my mind.


If you found any of this interesting I advise you to watch:
-Thank You For Smoking (movie, on DVD now)
-Super Size Me
-That one South Park episode with the antismoking league.

lol.

Ok well I'm sitting here being bored as can be and when I'm bored. I think. And I'm a deep thinker about everything. Currently I'm thinking of all the people saying "labels" or "fakes". This is kinda based on the blog of Jake Jack Off™ from MySpace. But these days people keep labeling people which I don't really care about or take offense of. But then there are people who say "DON'T LABEL ME!!1!!!876!" and somewhere else in there profile they usually declare "I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK OF ME!". I think all of this is bullshit. People who don't care about other people's opions should not care abotu a stupid pointless thing as labeling. Its only an insult if you take it as one. Now a bunch of my friends get bent out of shape if people "label" them. But I think its because its not what they want to hear but whatever. Also labeling goes far on beyond "prep, emo, goth, scene, skater" but into the whole "popularity" scene. I've noticed that a bunch of the people who claim not to label them label other people as "uncool" or "unpopular" or "freak". Its not fair to those people that just because they choose to be themselves. You can dislike them but not until you've talked to them. Now I've talked to a bunch of the "freaks" and some of them are really sweet. They may not have the looks or social skills but sometimes you need to open up to people.

Now about "fakes". Some people describe them as another deff. of a poser. But when you think about it there isn't much to a poser asides from a person trying to act like they know/act of something they're not. But some people would call a poser for someone who listens to a band that they dislike. But we should really start accepting people for who they are or we'll all just start being a bunch of clones. These days I'm trying to be more accepting about other people's opions and such because we all deserve our own opion.

Meh its getting late and my brain juices are dieing.
So I'm quitting for the night...